the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
