fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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