KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
