She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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