His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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