I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
