Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
