When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
