I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
