just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I checked into jail on foursquare
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I had to cum in my sink.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
