I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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