So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
