I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize