I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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