like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
