You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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