So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
