PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
If I die, sorry about rent.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
