everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
