Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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