I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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