your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
