I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i barfeds in our rink
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
