I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize
