I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
