She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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