I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
