no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
