is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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