Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
so much tequila, so little girl.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
