I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
