just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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