We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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