You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
