you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
