I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize