well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Randomize
