butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I can text with my tongue
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I wear drunk well.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
