At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
