I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
