UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
