I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
