shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
