She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
The uberlube is also flammable
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
