Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
