Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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