She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
