To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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