Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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