i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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