didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My first STD was from a foam party
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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