The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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