i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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