I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize