If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
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