Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
