I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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