make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
