im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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